I praise God that He has given me deliverance and redemption in my persistent sin of lying.

In Part 1 of this three-blog series, I described—obediently but in more detail than I really wanted to—three of the biggest, longest-lasting, and most life-altering sins of my life, including habitual lying. If you missed that blog, you’ll get much more out of today’s blog if you read Part 1 first. Click here to read Part 1.

God started delivering me from my decades-long habitual sin of lying at Encounter with God, the inaugural event of an overnight Christian retreat that would become foundational to the discipleship program at my church. I did not want to go to the retreat. I thought it would be a waste of time, because I’d been to a lot of Christian retreats, and this once just smelled too touchy-feely to me.

But our lead pastor encouraged all small group leaders to go, so I did, thinking I could at least get some tips for helping my small group members.

And I actually didn’t learn anything new—at least no new intellectual knowledge. But what did impress me was the level of transparency I saw in the speakers and breakout-group leaders. They openly shared their sins, struggles, and victories, not to gain attention to themselves, but for God’s glory.

Near the end of the retreat, I felt God’s strong prompting to confess to my breakout group my significant habitual sin of lying. I didn’t do it. I went home and tried to resume life as normal, but God wouldn’t let me off the hook.

My first step toward healing and deliverance was when I obeyed God’s strong and loving prompting to confess my habitual lying to a close friend. Again, I resisted, probably about three weeks. But finally, I gritted my teeth, marched with great confidence up the steps to my friend Kim's front door, and immediately fell apart in tears as I confessed to her.

I certainly didn’t expect Kim to disown me or to condemn me in any way. But I certainly didn’t expect what I saw in her face and heard in her voice: RESPECT for my courage. Telling someone else—a dear friend who loves me and whom I also love and trust—broke the strangling bonds of secrecy that the Enemy had used to keep me shrouded in secret shame.

After that, I got help through Christian counseling. The lying didn’t immediately go away. It took years. Sometimes, it seemed like it was gone, but certain triggers, such as high stress, low self-confidence, insecurity, or fear of rejection, prompted me to lie again, sometimes in spectacular ways (see Part 1 of this blog series for details). I also learned from my Christian counselor that my personality type is the one most prone to lying, so although that didn’t excuse my lying, it helped me to embrace more fully God’s perspective and grace.

I still occasionally lie, but it’s very infrequent, and it’s not in the grandiose ways of the past. And when I lie, it’s much easier to confess, both to God and to other people, because the shame of secrecy is gone, and I’ve grown so much in the truth of God’s amazing love and grace.

God has further redeemed my habitual sin of lying by granting me blessings that I was incapable of receiving as a woman who lived by deceiving others multiple times each day.

For example, one year after my most significant transformation into truthfulness, at age 48, my best friend of eight years gloriously became my husband! I needed to become a woman of integrity before I could thrive in a healthy marriage. I’m so thankful God protected me from marriage before then.

Also, after God transformed me into a woman of integrity, He gave me a paid Christian vocational calling, so that I went on-staff at my church, as a coach of a network of 20 small group leaders, director of the adult discipleship equipping track, writer of our weekly small group curriculum, and—BELIEVE IT OR NOT—director of the Encounter with God Retreat, the very retreat that I thought was beneath me but that launched me into recovery from lying!

At Encounter, I saw God transform hundreds of lives, marriages restored, decades-old relational conflicts resolved, addictions overcome, healing of cancer, healing of a man's legs so that he could walk for the first time in ten years, and many other miracles of God. I eventually led or helped to lead 35+ Encounter Retreats, mostly at our church, but also at a few other churches.

Those are just a few examples of how God redeemed my Dirty Little Secret of lying.

God Redeems Our Sins

By the way, I want to clearly and emphatically clarify that I do not use lightly the phrase, “My Dirty Little Secrets." 

It’s a catchy phrase that makes people want to read my blogs. But the truth is that sins are not funny or cute. They are serious, they can have devastating consequences, and they grieve God.

But thanks be to God, we know, as Christians, that when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, God forgives our sins:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

This verse is often used in evangelism, but the context is that it was written to Christians! Even though we know our sins are forgiven, it’s also important to know that we still need to confess when we sin, and we still need to repent as believers, not because we'll lose our salvation if we don't, but because it's transformational to us and to our relationship to God. To repent means to turn 180 degrees away from the sinful direction we are going and instead run toward God and His ways.

And yet, EVEN AFTER WE'RE SAVED, it's impossible to repent on our own. The apostle Paul—who was himself a dedicated follower of Christ and courageously preached the Gospel in perilous times—expressed his own helplessness against sin:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. (Romans 7:15-20)

Paul expressed the agony of being unable to change himself, EVEN THOUGH HE BELONGS TO CHRIST:

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 7:21-24)

Not only does God FORGIVE us, He also FREES us! Not only has Jesus paid the required price—the redemption for our sins—He also frees us for His glory, our good, and His Kingdom purposes!

And Paul continues with more GREAT NEWS:

Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! ... Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 7:25, 8:1-2)

GLORY BE! Paul declares that there is NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus!

That doesn’t mean that all consequences of our sin are wiped out. It also doesn’t guarantee that we’ll immediately quit sinning, because Paul said TO BELIEVERS:

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. (1 John 1:8)

But what redemption does mean is that God Himself will cleanse us from unrighteousness:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

This means that, not only does God forgive us, He also alone empowers us to conquer temptation and live rightly.

God Redeems Our Failures

I have failed many times. Sometimes my failure was at least partially my fault, and sometimes it wasn’t. (See Part 1 of this blog series.)

“Failure is not the opposite of success. It is part of success.” (Arianna Huffington)

Failure is most painful when it is BOTH extremely important AND very public.

But God redeems even those kinds of failures. In the case of failure, redemption does not refer to Christ’s payment of our sin-debt, because failure isn’t always because of sin.

God’s redemption of failure means God’s transformation of failure into good, for His glory, our good, and His Kingdom purposes:

In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

If I had not failed at my dream of becoming a medical researcher, I would not be doing what I’m doing now: helping people find and fulfill their Christian calling through coaching and writing. God knew that in advance, and He redeemed my failure and my calling for His good purposes.

God Redeems When Other People Hurt Us

I felt hurt because I grew up in a church tradition that limited women’s roles in leadership, and because I experienced severe gender discrimination in a short-term job that lasted about a year and a half. (See Part 1 of this blog series.)

Tomorrow, in Part 3 of this blog series, I'll share a key way that God redeemed me from hurts. It's a the main way that he redeems us from all of our Dirty Little Secrets, including sins, failures, and hurts from other people.

But people can hurt us in deeper and more life-altering ways. The hurt is especially deep if it comes from people we know and trust, such as family members, friends, and churches. Examples include rape, molestation, physical or emotional abuse, and dysfunctions in the family of origin. It also includes betrayal, abandonment, shaming, unfair treatment, lack of communication of love and value by parents, and many other kinds of hurts.

The road to healing and God’s redemption from hurts can take a variety of routes, and almost all include forgiveness. We’ll talk more about this in Part 3 of this blog series.

For now, know that God is with you in your hurt, and that His intent is to restore you to health and joy, no matter how long you’ve been hurting:

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

Click here to read Part 1.

• All Christians have Dirty Little Secrets: sins, failures, and hurts that we tend to hide from others.
• I shared with you some of my biggest Dirty Little Secrets. 
• What dirty little secrets does God want you to address?