Why Am I Confused by God’s Leading?

From my own experience in Christian calling, and from the experiences of clients I have coached about Christian calling, I’ve identified 6 reasons God often leads us to do things that don’t make sense until AFTER we act upon them.

1. God Wants to Lead Us into a New Future

Sometimes God prompts us to do seemingly strange things because, through them, He will lead us into a new future.

• For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

God’s confusing prompt that I register for the Women’s conference (see above)—where I would learn about the seminary degree program—is a great example of that.

Another example was when God prompted me to go to a Speak Up Conference.

At the time, I was a leadership and discipleship pastor, but I didn’t do a huge amount of preaching and speaking. In fact, I believed I would be doing even less in the future because my church staff role no longer fit me well, although I had no idea what might be next.

Even though I was confused by God's leading to attend another seemingly meaningless conference, I registered immediately.

At that conference, I attended a breakout group about Christian life coaching, led by a faculty member of the premier coach training school in the U.S. My heart soared again, this time with excitement about becoming a Christian life coach.

Three months later, I resigned my church staff position to embark on a two-year coach-certification program and start R.J. Scherba Christian Coaching, a ministry that helps people all over the world to find and fulfill their Christian calling and grow in Christ.

2. God Wants Us to Help Someone Else Transition into a New Future

Sometimes we might follow God’s prompt to investigate something that we think He wants US to do, when in fact He wants to speak through us to prompt SOMEONE ELSE to do it.

• As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. (Proverbs 27:17)

For example, a woman saw an Facebook advertisement for an online discipleship program. She loved to disciple women, but doing that online was not her style.

But she kept being confused by God's persistent leading to check it out.

So she learned about the online discipleship program. A man in the publicity video said, “Maybe online discipleship isn’t for you. But might God want to speak through you to someone else who needs to learn about this discipleship method?”

Ding! That was it! The woman shared her revelation with a tech-savvy disciplemaker, who then enrolled in the program.

3. God Wants to Grow Our Character

Sometimes God prompts us to do something outside our passion and gifting because He wants to grow our character.

• May integrity and honesty protect me, for I put my hope in you. (Psalm 25:21)

At the church where I was on staff, only the lead pastor and campus pastors did weddings and funerals. And that was perfectly fine with me. As a discipleship pastor, I knew my gifts and passions did not include doing weddings and funerals.

Nevertheless, all of us pastors did a two-day training about conducting funerals. Ours was a large, multi-campus church, so it was good to have pastors on back-up.

About two years after my “funeral training,” near Christmas time, the pastors who usually conducted funerals were either out of town or unavailable. So guess who got the call.

I really didn’t want to do it. I was confused by God's leading to do it. One of the other discipleship pastors, whose gifts and passions were a much closer fit than mine, had done funerals before, even enjoying that kind of opportunity to minister. He would be much better at it than me. And besides, being a very casual dresser, I didn’t even have the right clothes for conducting funerals!

I seriously considered making up an excuse so that someone else would have to do it. I rationalized it would be better for the family too, because I would definitely not be good at it.

A few years prior to that time, I would have made up an excuse not to do that funeral. Translation: I would have lied. (See my blog about my lifelong struggles with, and recovery from, habitual lying: My Dirty Little Secrets.)

But this time, I resisted the temptation to lie. I did the funeral. I even bought a suit for the funeral. It turned out to be the only funeral I ever did, and I never wore that suit ever again.

So it was a costly obedience. 

Obedience was financially costly. It was also emotionally costly. It was a mediocre funeral experience at best, although the daughter of the deceased—whom I knew, but not very well—was very gracious about my awkward efforts.

Nevertheless, God blessed me and others through my character-growing experience. 

I shared my triumph of integrity with the pastor who trained me to do funerals. He knew about my past struggles with lying, and he rejoiced with me in my character growth. And lo and behold, the daughter of the deceased eventually joined the small group that I led, grew in her faith, and is still growing today.

4. God Wants to Delight Us and Encourage Our Souls

Sometimes God prompts us to do spontaneous—and seemingly frivolous—fun things, just because He wants to refresh, encourage, and delight us. He doesn’t want us to miss these special gifts directly from His own hand!

• This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)

We often feel guilty spending time and money on fun. But God created us for joy!

Below are some examples of “God-portunities” for blessings:

Go for a nature walk when it seems you don’t have the time.

Call a friend or relative who always lifts your spirits, especially during a crazy-busy time.

Spend some money on a hobby or travel, even though it seems selfish.

Take a day off, even if you feel pressured by deadlines.

5. God Wants to Speak Encouragement Through Us to Someone Else

Sometimes God gives us a vivid and powerful vision, but the vision confuses us until we realize it’s not for us—it’s for someone else.

• Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. (Hebrews 10:24)

When I was a discipleship pastor, as I prayed for our church, God gave me a powerful, vivid picture for our church’s future: thousands of young people, transformed and fully equipped, impacting our region and the world with love and power for Christ.

The vision was so clear and so powerful that I thought God was calling me to do it. 

I thought God wanted me to help train these young people. And I was confused by God's leading, because youth and young adults had never been my calling.

After I shared my vision during a church staff meeting—where my voice cracked with emotion and the staff rejoiced—I realized my vision was for some of them, not for me. The fact that my area of ministry was outside the youth area, and that God’s passion for the vision shone so strongly through my telling of it, invigorated the lead pastor and the staff who worked with the youth and young adults. The lead pastor still occasionally mentions the encouragement he received from my words.

More and more, throughout the past ten years since I shared that vision, God is bringing that vision to fruition. Youth and young-adult small groups are multiplying. The church even has an A1:8 program (based on Acts 1:8) for equipping domestic and international church planters—many of whom are young adults.

6. God Wants to Deepen Our Experiences and Skills

Sometimes God leads us into something merely boring—or even something greatly painful—to grow and equip us for a future calling.

• So when the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers pulled him out of the cistern and sold him to them for twenty pieces of silver. And the traders took him to Egypt. (Gen 37:28) … [Joseph said to his brothers,] “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” (Genesis 50:20)

Nothing in our lives is ever wasted. God uses all of our experiences, no matter how long and painful, for His purposes and our good.

In my mid-twenties, single, having just graduated with a Ph.D. in chemistry, and starting my career as a college chemistry professor, I dove immediately into my new church life. When the music director moved away, the pastor of the small congregation asked me if I would serve as the interim music director.

Talk about being really confused by God's leading! Totally flabbergasted! 

I sang faithfully in the choir, I had the spiritual gift of leadership, and I already loved the church and the people. But I didn’t play any musical instruments beyond “chopsticks”! I had dawdled with piano and voice lessons but had discontinued due to lack of talent and interest.

And yet, I sensed God’s prompting to accept!

Well, I did have fun! I organized the hymn list for the church bulletin each week, matching the topics to the sermons. I led the few dozen people in congregational singing each Sunday morning and night, and each Wednesday night, although I often had to pull away from the mic on the high notes. I even directed—such as it was—the choir in a semi-passable rendition of a simple cantata, sans orchestra.

It was pretty mediocre. But ya know, I had fun during those three months. And so did my church family. Because I was new to the church, young, enthusiastic, and gamely willing to do just about anything, many doors of opportunity opened for leadership in that church and the local denomination.

Those years were some of the most formative of my life for growing in discipleship and Christian leadership. And all because I said yes to a seemingly crazy invitation to lead the church music!

Additional Resources

Christian Coach, Carina Alanson, explains why confusion about God's leading can be a good thing: Are You Confused by God's Leading? Why That Could Be a Good Sign.

For a different perspective about being confused by God's leading, check out this post by the internationally known pastor, Rick Warren: God's Guidance Won't Leave You Confused.