Challenge 44. Blog 21

My Stress Story

Yesterday I was really stressed out. I was writing Blog Number 20 of Challenge 44, during which I’m writing 44 blogs in 90 business days, about Christian calling and growing in Christ. I’m writing 30 blogs during the first 30 business days, 10 blogs during the second 30 days, and 4 blogs during the third thirty days. I have specific learning goals for each 30-day segment, and I love to learn! So I’m eating this up! Or at least, I did at first.

Blog Numbers 1 through 15 went pretty well. In fact, Blogs Numbers 1 through 3 were a breeze—shiny new toys and all! J Blog Numbers 4 through 20 got progressively more difficult.

Have you ever tried to come up with an idea for a blog every single day for 30 straight business days, publish it in WordPress on a website, design a graphic, and then set up an email to be delivered at 10:02 the next day? And that’s on top of everything else you were already doing?

Sorry—that was a rather shameless and petty plea for sympathy.

Anyway, after the first 20 or so blogs, it’s harder to come up with ideas. My tightly scheduled days don’t always work out as planned. My husband’s first cataract surgery is scheduled three days from now, and we have other appointments this week too. Weariness is setting in.

Yesterday I finally hit my stride with my blog topic, sipping the caffeine and watching the breeze gently feather the palm tree outside my office window. Then someone emailed me to tell me that the link for my most recent blog didn’t work. I decided to finish my current blog before taking a look at that.

And then, twenty minutes into editing my blog online in WordPress, the internet went out. I lost everything I’d edited. The rough draft was still there, but my finely polished masterpiece had evaporated into cyberspace.

Ugh!!! UUUGGGGHHHHHH!

Fortunately, the internet service blinked one again after 15 minutes. But by that time, my husband and our son, who had also lost internet service while working at his job—he’s visiting us for a few days, 6 hours from his home—awaited dinner.

And. And! You’re gonna laugh at this. The blog I was writing when the internet crashed was the last of a three-part series about—are you ready—BURNOUT!!!

The good news is that, no, I’m not burning out. My stress has only been about 10 days long.

But my internet outage is a great example of simple old everyday stress.

Even as it happened, I recalled a simple tool for everyday stress management that I learned many years ago.

H.A.L.T.

H.A.L.T. represents 4 emotions that signal stress and some everyday strategies for addressing them. The more of these signals you have, the greater is your stress.

1. Hunger

Hunger is a desire or need for something we don’t have. Of course, it could be physical hunger. Other examples are a desire for help, understanding, support, solutions, love, acceptance, security, peace, or a sense of being valued.

Strategy for hunger: The simple answer is to find what fills you while not turning to destructive habits or negative people.

God and hunger: Ultimately, God fills our deepest desires. Ask Him how He wants to fill yours.

2. Anger

Anger is a normal human emotion. It is not wrong; Jesus Himself got angry.

Strategy for anger: The key is to learn to express and move through anger well. First, wait five minutes before you say or do something you’ll regret. Take deep breaths. Punch something soft or go for a run to work off the hot energy. If your anger is against a person, cool down first, then use “I language” instead of “you language” to tell the person how you feel. For example, say “I felt angry when you did that,” instead of “You made me angry when you did that.”

God and anger: The Psalms are full of people expressing anger to God. Do it yourself! He can take it. He’ll move you through it.

3. Loneliness

Loneliness can happen on a deserted island with Wilson the Volleyball or at Thanksgiving dinner surrounded by friends and family. Being alone—by yourself—is often a self-imposed situation. But if you’re surrounded by people and you still feel lonely, it’s probably because you don’t think they understand, love, or value you in the ways you would like.

Strategy for loneliness: If you’re lonely because you’re physically by yourself, make the difficult effort to reach out to someone. If you’re lonely because you don’t feel like people understand you or relate to you, talk with a loved one. You don’t have to say you feel lonely; just tell him or her what’s important to you, and ask for support.

God and loneliness: Jesus knows what it’s like to feel alone. On the cross, He said, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” We will never feel that kind of loneliness, of taking the sins of the entire world on our shoulders. But Jesus understands our loneliness. Ask Him to connect with your heart. He will.

4. Tiredness

Tiredness is usually the easiest H.A.L.T. emotion to address. Just sleep. Nap. Take a weekend off. Go off the grid!

Furthermore, unless you address tiredness, it will be difficult to address the remaining 3 emotions of H.A.L.T.—because you won’t have the physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual strength to do it.

Strategy for tiredness: Yep, you know the answers. Sleep. Nap. Take the weekend off. Take off an evening.

God and tiredness: God built rest into the rhythms of our daily breaks, our weekly Sabbaths and our yearly festivals.

My Stress Story (Continued)

Here’s how I used H.A.L.T. to my advantage during my stressful day yesterday:

1. My Anger

I didn’t realize it, but my primary emotion yesterday, even before the internet crashed, was anger. I’d been working my buns off blogging for 20 business days. I was weary and stressed. The internet was the last straw. When our son said, winding up his computer’s power cord, “Thankfully, I got my work done,” I begrudgingly mumbled, “Wish I had.”

2. My Hunger

Okay, yes, this time, by the time I finished the blog, I was literally hungry for food. We ended up going out to eat.

3. My Loneliness

Loneliness crept in a bit, because I had a mild pity-party. “Why did this happen to me?” But I did admit to my husband and son, “I’m feeling grumpy and hungry,” and they bantered with me and lifted my spirits.

4. My Tiredness

As usual, tiredness—weariness that had increased steadily over several days—was the root of my stress. I went to bed early last night. I thought about not blogging at all today, and I asked God about that. He didn’t say anything one way or the other, so I knew He was giving me the choice. It was more important to Him that I learn something one way or the other, than whether or not I wrote a blog today. So I decided to write a blog today—but a short one, the one you're now reading, completed in half the usual time. And my husband, our son, and I decided to give me another break tonight and go out and eat again. YAY! I feel better already!

Key Takeaways about Everyday Stress

This blog is about normal, everyday stress, which can progress toward burnout. Click here for my blog series about burnout.

Get a strategy such as H.A.L.T. for everyday stress management:

1. Your Hunger

Strategy: Discover what you’re hungry for, and fill those desires in God-honoring ways.

God and hunger: Ask God to fill your desires Himself or through people or His other blessings.

2. Your Anger

Strategy: Learn to express and manage the normal emotion of anger.

God and anger: Talk with God about your anger. He understands!

3. Your Loneliness

Strategy: If you’re physically alone, reach out to someone, even though it’s hard. If you feel lonely because you don’t feel understood, tell someone what’s important to you, and ask for their support.

God and loneliness: Ask Jesus to connect to your lonely heart. He understands!

4. Your Tiredness

Strategy: Nap or sleep. Take the evening or the weekend off. Go off the grid and enjoy!

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