For most of us, prayer means asking God about the BUSINESS of being a Christian:

• Asking God what He wants me to do and then DOING it.
• Returning repeatedly for direction and confirmation about what to DO.
• Asking forgiveness for sin.
• Praying for others.

But what if Jesus wants to talk more about the RELATIONSHIP, instead of just the BUSINESS of being a Christian?

What if Jesus really wants to have a personal, fun, real-time conversation with you every day?

What we often don’t realize is that He is already doing that! We just don’t realize it, because we think what we hear in our hearts and heads is our own thoughts, when in fact, Jesus is talking to us all the time!

And there are ways we can train ourselves to hear Him, and respond, and He to us, back-and-forth, just like sitting with Him under a palm tree at the beach!

What if you were to ask Jesus:

• Jesus, what do you love about me?
• Father, how have I operated like your son/daughter this week? What does that do for you?
• Jesus, what do you want to say to me now, after I have confessed this sin?
• Jesus, who do you see me as, that nobody else knows?
• Jesus, how does it impact you to be on mission with me?

What if you heard Jesus say to you:

• This is what I love about you …
• I forgive you. You’re good. Now move on!
• Why are you asking me what to do in this situation? I enjoy watching you be who you are. You decide! I’m with you!

Tony Stoltzfus’ book, Questions for Jesus, has revolutionized how I pray.

Of course, it’s important to do the BUSINESS of the faith in prayer. But if that’s ALL we do, or even if it is MOST of what we do, we’re missing out! It would be like marrying for the sole purpose of starting a business, instead of marrying for the richness of the relationship!

Download a free excerpt of Questions for Jesus, by Tony Stoltzfus, by clicking here.

Here are some tips from Tony Stoltzfus about how to revolutionize your prayers:

• Believe in God’s goodness. Instead of asking God, “Do you love me?”, ask “How do you love me?”
• Pray about the relationship, not about the business. Instead of asking God about what to DO, ask Him questions about the RELATIONSHIP.
• Ask for an experiential word from Jesus (Rhema). Instead of asking for information, ask for a real-time, personal, loving word from Jesus.
• Test the Rhema with the Bible (Logos). Test the validity of the conversation with what the Bible says about Jesus. If what you hear sounds like the Jesus of the Bible, then it probably is!

Stoltzfus says that when we put people or worldly objects at the center of our most passionate prayers, instead of Jesus, we put God in a terrible position.

How? Suppose we misplace our hope for fulfillment in ministry success, getting married, having children, a certain career, etc., instead of trusting Jesus for our fulfillment. If God gives us what we want, we trust even more in these good things that become idols. But if He doesn’t give us what we want, we tend to think He doesn’t care so we trust Him less.

But when we develop and value our personal relationship with Jesus first, we are free to enjoy the very same blessings, but without depending upon them for our happiness.

Here’s what happens when you pray more about the RELATIONSHIP than the BUSINESS:

• A phenomenally higher percentage of answered prayer! It’s amazing that when I ask Jesus about the RELATIONSHIP, I almost always hear a response! He seems to want to talk about the relationship more than about the business!
• Hugely increased sense of self-worth, confidence, and joy. Jesus actually talks, in real-time, to ME! And He will do the same for YOU!
• Prayer is fun! No longer is prayer just about going through the motions of a routine. It’s about hanging out in real time with Jesus!

This concept seems heretical, or even crazy. But I urge you to try it!

• It felt very weird to me at first.
• The biggest hurdle is to believe that you can really hear from Jesus, conversationally, in real time. He already is speaking. We just need to learn to recognize His voice.
• But Tony Stoltzfus is an internationally known Christian life coach, and he makes a case for his thesis directly from the Bible. I’m convinced that it’s theologically sound.

Here’s how you can start learning to have a real-time conversation with Jesus:

• Get Tony Stoltzfus’ book, Questions for Jesus at Amazon. It has 52 devotionals for learning how to converse with Jesus in real time, as well as plenty of guidance about how to do that on your own.

R.J. Scherba Christian Coaching is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. R.J. only lists resources that she highly values and uses herself.

What about you? What’s your experience with having conversations with Jesus? Feel free to comment or ask questions below.