Challenge 44. Blog 37

I’ve led scores of church small groups during my lifetime. Making and multiplying disciples has always been core to who I am, and evangelistic small groups build a great foundation for doing that. Members study the Bible, share transparently as we apply the Bible to our lives, serve together, have fun together, and constantly reach out to invite new people into a salvation and discipleship.

My prayer is always that someone in the group feels called to lead a small group herself/himself, eventually taking leadership of the group from me. That causes multiplication of ministry, and then I move on to start a new small group, a new kind of ministry, or a new season of personal reflection and discernment.

So, I was nervous as I waited for the ladies in my current small group to sign in, because today I would tell them that I am leaving the group. I'm always somewhat nervous when transitioning a new small group, because transitions involving relationships always feel somewhat risky and vulnerable.

God’s most clear signal to me about the timing was that God had grown my coaching and writing ministries to the point that I now needed to let go of the small group to free up more time. I would miss meeting with these dear ladies every week. And even though no one in the group feels called to lead the group after the current study ends in four weeks, I sensed through prayer God’s prompting to move on. I have confidence that He will continue to accomplish His purposes in and through all of us.

This simple example of my recent calling-role transition illustrates the fact that God eventually transitions all of us—often many times—out of one calling role and into another. It could be a transition from one volunteer church ministry to another, or from one role to another in a certain career field, or even from one career field into a completely different one.

At different times within the wider context of my lifetime Christian calling, God called me to three different calling roles through my careers: first as a college chemistry professor, then as a leadership and discipleship pastor, and now as a Christian life coach and writer. As I’ve moved around the country and changed churches, I’ve also transitioned in and out of many volunteer church ministry roles.

In this blog, my purpose is to share some of what I’ve learned about why God transitions us to new Christian calling roles, why he does that differently depending upon your age, how to discern when the timing is right to transition, and keys to transitioning well.

And just to be clear, when I refer to a “Christian calling role,” I’m talking about anything you believe God has inspired and enabled you to do, such as a volunteer church role, community service role, career, etc. Therefore, “calling role” does not refer exclusively to roles directly connected with church and missions.

Your Calling Role at Different Ages in Your Life

Before we talk about how to discern God’s timing for transitioning from one calling role to another, we need to realize how God’s purposes for calling roles are different in young adulthood, versus in middle age, versus ages 50+. These conclusions are based on Tony Stoltzfus’ 35-year studies of the calling roles of bible characters and modern Christians, and on my own observations while coaching dozens of adults about Christian calling.

Calling Roles in Young Adulthood

When I coach young adults—approximately ages 18 to 35—about finding their Christian calling, they often worry that something is wrong with them if they don’t know what they want to do with their lives, or what major to choose in college. They worry that they’ll choose the wrong careers and forever mess up God’s will for their lives.

My young-adult clients compare themselves with their young peers who know exactly what they want to do, including their friends who are headed to seminary. These young clients also compare themselves to parents or other older relatives who started successful careers in their twenties and then stayed in those careers until retirement.

You’ve might have heard that the average person changes jobs 12-15 times during a lifetime of working, even changing careers 5-7 times. But is that what a dedicated child of God should do? If God has a purpose for our lives, shouldn’t we know in young adulthood what that calling is?

The answer is…

...It depends.

If you are a young adult and you feel passionate about a career path or ministry role that you believe you would be good at, and you sense God’s encouragement in that, then go for it! The only way to confirm it is to try it and see! If you do that role until the Lord calls you home, hallelujah! If you don't, God will use it anyway in ways you can’t even imagine. 

But if you’re a young adult and you’re not sure what God is calling you to do, God might have something in mind for your future that doesn’t yet exist or will take time for you to grow into. Therefore, try some things you’re interested in and think you can learn to do well. 

Don’t worry if your ministry or career path is not as clear as someone else’s. God is God. If He wants to call you into a particular career or ministry path, He is fully capable of clearly telling you so! In the meantime, trust His process. You might be one of those people who needs 12-15 different jobs in your lifetime to fulfill the multiple calling roles that God plans for you!

When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I tried dozens of different ministry roles. The ones that best fit my abilities and passions included teaching Sunday school, leading prayer meetings, directing the church’s outreach and evangelism ministries, sharing Christ door-to-door, and serving for two weeks on a volunteer evangelistic mission team in Venezuela.

The roles that fit me least in my young adulthood—and that lasted the shortest periods of time—were leading a small youth group, teaching children in Vacation Bible School, singing in a choir and on a worship team and even singing a few solos, and leading congregational singing while also directing a small choir in a small church.

During my young adulthood, I learned through doing those many roles that I enjoy and excel at teaching, writing, leadership, and sharing my faith. Furthermore, I learned that I do these roles best when working with adults, not with children or teen-agers. And while I greatly enjoy music, I learned that I am not a talented vocalist or instrumentalist. The only way I could discover all of that was to explore.

In young adulthood, the key to transitioning to your next big calling role is to try lots of skills and roles that interest you, seek mature Christian mentors to encourage and equip you, and trust God to grow and guide you.

Calling Roles in Middle Adulthood

When middle adults—approximate ages 35 to 50—contact me for help with their Christian calling, they usually express frustration or boredom with their current calling role, and they yearn for God to transition them into a new calling role. But they worry that perhaps they somehow missed God’s calling and that it's too late for them.

Even people who started exciting careers in young adulthood sometimes feel that they’ve outgrown what they thought would be a lifetime gig. Or perhaps they know their current calling role is still the right one, but they're burned out because of horrible life/work balance. Or they might worry that their professional skills or moral character fall too short of God’s standards for the next level of their calling, so they prematurely start to grieve what might have been.

God’s purposes for Christian calling in your middle-adult years are to grow your skills, character, life/work balance, and relationship with God. This prepares you for what Tony Stoltzfus calls the “Releasing Stage” of Christian calling. In the Releasing Stage, your calling role will be a much closer fit to who you are and what you do best, than anything else you’ve ever done in your life so far.

Never fear that you’ve wasted years of your life doing the wrong things. God never wastes anything. He will use all of it later.

Before the Releasing Stage, there will come a long valley of uncertainty, anxiety, and change. But at the end of the valley, a new calling role usually happens during a literal 24-hour period, launching you into the most fulfilling and fruitful time of your calling to date.

When I was 42 years old, I had been a college chemistry professor for 12 years. At first, I loved it. But then, as my volunteer roles increased at church, I realized I loved those even more. I yearned to make my living helping people grow in Christ and multiplying disciples, but I had no formal training for church work, and I had no idea how I could take an 80% pay cut to start over in a church vocation. I began to wonder if I had missed God’s calling into full-time church-related work when I was a young adult. Was it too late for me?

Three years later—glory hallelujah—I became a leadership and discipleship pastor at the multi-campus church where I was already a member. I discovered that my college teaching career and my many volunteer church roles in the past had indeed built the foundational skills for my new church vocation. Finally, an unexpectedly quick change in finances enabled my career transition.

During my calling valley, God worked on some character flaws, including my lifelong habit of lying. Also, for the first time, I realized I needed to stop doing a lot of my current roles in order to focus on a more specialized future role. That was—surprisingly—one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I loved spending many hours every week at church, serving in multiple roles that defined my identity perhaps too much. I had to learn to say no, even when my friends didn’t understand. 

In middle adulthood, the key to transitioning to your next calling role is to learn to say no to a lot of calling roles in order to move on to God’s best calling role, getting good life-work balance and focusing on your best skills, knowing that your Releasing Stage is certainly coming and that it will indeed be sweet! 

Calling Roles at Age 50+

Tony Stoltzfus discovered that the most fulfilling and fruitful stage of Christian calling often happens after the age of 50. In fact, it often happens after age 60, 70, and beyond. Stoltzfus calls this the Fulfillment Stage of Christian calling.

But immediately before the Fulfillment Stage, events such as retirement, declining health, significant loss, or even the mistaken belief that the best years of Christian calling are over, cause an identity crisis. People who stay in the same calling role throughout their entire lives often wonder—suddenly and for the first time—if they waited too long and missed God’s signals for transitioning out of their lifelong calling role into the next one. Almost everyone experiences at least some anxiety, because they worry that they do not have enough expertise, credibility, or influence to move into the next level of their calling.

One of God’s main purposes for Christian calling for people ages 50+ is that we learn to be who we are. It’s that simple, and it’s that complex. Think about it. In order to do the most impactful Christian calling role of your life, you must be confident in who God has called you to be, and especially in God's approval of you and of your calling.

God’s supreme purpose for people ages 50+ is that we learn to love Him more than we love our calling—and that God Himself is enough for us, regardless of what we ourselves can or cannot do.

My identity crisis peaked when I had to resign my career as a pastor because of a health crisis. I had allowed my calling role to define who I was. Gradually, I learned to have transformational back-and-forth conversations with God. Now, my identity rests in Him, not in what I do for Him. He tells me awesome things that He thinks and feels about me, things that ring absolutely true, but things that I would never have thought of myself.

Because I now know who God has created me to be—and how uniquely and eternally He loves me—I have the confidence, clarity, courage, and freedom to believe I can accomplish the big dream He has put in my heart for my Fulfillment Stage.

At age 50+, the key to transitioning to your next calling role is to talk—and talk and talk and talk—with God, so that you fully discover, value, live out who you are and what you are created to do.

Common Exceptions

It's important to remember that the above model, solidly based on biblical study and Christian research, is still a model. It is not the Gospel! So if your life doesn't fit the model, that's fine! God will accomplish His purposes in your life in His way.

Also, these exceptions to the model are common:

• If God calls you to stay with the same calling role—or to the same field, for example, church staff, finances, and many other fields—throughout your entire life, you will probably not experience a Releasing Stage. By definition, the Releasing Stage is a mid-life calling role that fits you better than any other calling role so far. Therefore, if you stay with the same role long-term, that definition will not fit you.
• If you accepted Christ in adulthood, especially in middle adulthood or later, you might skip some stages. God, in His infinite grace, still accomplishes His purposes through you , even though you might think you accepted Jesus "too late."
• If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, or if you experienced a lot of dysfunctionality in adulthood, you might experience these ages differently. But again, God will still accomplish His purposes in your life!

Read Part 2 of This Blog

In the second of this 2-part blog series about "How to Transition Well Into Your Next Calling Role":

• Understand God's specific purposes for your calling at different ages.
• How to know when it's the right time to transition to a new calling role, and how your age factors into your decision.
• Keys to transitioning well to your next calling role, and how that's different at different ages.

Click here to go to Part 2 of this blog.

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