When you have an important decision to make, you want to make the right one. You pray for guidance about what God wants you to do.

But sometimes God seems strangely silent, and you might wonder why He isn’t saying anything, or why you can’t get peace about the decision, one way or the other.

Sometimes God does have a particular decision that He wants you to make, so of course it’s good to ask what it is.

For example, in Genesis Gen 12:1-3, God said to Abraham, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.” God’s purpose was to bless Abraham, and to bless all other nations through Him.

You can probably point to specific times in your own life when you clearly perceived a definite thing that God wanted you to do.

But you might be surprised to know that sometimes God is fine either way, and He wants you to make your own decision!

Consider this. What if God doesn’t always want us just to discern His will and then obey Him? What if He sometimes wants something more relational than that? What if He wants us to delight in the passions and gifts He has given us, and to joyfully and freely exercise our created uniqueness in our intimate journey with Him?

Just as a parent gives more and more freedom to make decisions as a child gets older, so also God gives us more and more freedom to choose as we mature in our relationship with Him. God didn’t create us to be robots or infants. He wants us to grow confident in the abilities and personality He has given us!

This is a revelation to many people! When we think God has a specific answer for every decision, and it’s our job to find out what it is, and we can’t do that, we get frustrated. But many times, God might just want to delight in watching what we choose and celebrating that freedom with us!

I have example of that from my own life. Someone at our church asked me to teach an Old Testament class, for which I had written the manual. It seemed like a no-brainer, but I felt a check in my spirit. So I prayed for a few days, and my experience told me this was one of those times that either way would be fine. But I did realize that, if I taught the class, I would not have the time or energy to do some other things that I knew God did want me to do and that I was really passionate about. So I said no. And I still sensed that whichever way I had decided would have been fine with God.

How can you tell when God wants you to make a particular decision in a particular way? And when do you know He’s okay either way?

James 1:5-8 says, “If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind; for the doubter, being double-minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord.”

If God wants you to decide in a particular way, He is God, and He will get through to you! Trust Him to do that. He is not fickle, and He won’t frustrate you with guessing games.

If you don’t hear His particular direction for a decision, trust that He is still with you in the process. Be encouraged! Enjoy the freedom He gives you to make your own decisions, and the opportunity to grow and gain confidence in your own decision-making abilities. And then follow through confidently!

10 strategies for for making good decisions

I encourage my coaching clients to use all of the strategies below, alone or together, and I have used them all myself for making wise decisions. Some of them are adapted from Tony Stoltzfus’ book, Coaching Questions.

1. Spiritual: Pray, trusting God to clearly speak to you, and ask Him if He wants your decision to go in a particular direction. If you don’t sense a clear answer, it’s probable that He would be okay either way!
2. Alignment: How well does this decision align with your priorities, passions, values, gifts, and calling?
3. Rational: What are the pros and cons of each option?
4. Counsel: What do the wise and/or important people in your life think?
5. Relational: How will this decision help or hurt the people around you?
6. Negative drives: What fears, misplaced expectations of others, or other negative drives influence your decision? How could you minimize these to make a better decision?
7. Cost: What is the cost (time and money) if you do this? What is the cost if you don’t do this? What is the cost if you don’t decide?
8. Risk/Reward: What is the payoff for each option? The risk? What could you do to minimize risks?
9. Testing It: Prayerfully live with the decision for a few days or weeks. To what extent do you feel peace?
10. Following Through: After you make the decision, act upon it! Trust God’s continued guidance and love on the journey with Him!

What about you?

• What decision have you been struggling to make?
• Do you think God wants you to discern one particular direction for this decision? (He might indeed want that!) Or might He instead want you to make the decision, in a way that will grow your confidence, and in a way that expresses your uniquely created identity?
• Which of the 10 strategies above is most helpful to you in your current decision?

Feel free to comment or ask questions below.