Several months ago I did an Overnight Personal Spiritual Retreat at a hotel near me. (Click here for tips about how to do a Personal Spiritual Retreat.)
My main takeaway from this retreat was that MY MINISTRY – my purpose in life – WILL NEVER FULFILL ME.
At first that shocked and dismayed me! But eventually it started to free me to live my purpose with joy and abandon.
I have had three careers in my life, and I believe God called me to each of them. I was a college chemistry professor, then a discipleship/leadership pastor at my church, and now a Christian life coach.
I have always been goal-oriented and future-focused. Nothing excites me more than God using me to make a big difference for Him.
So I started each of my careers with great excitement, hopeful and confident that God would use me in great ways to witness, disciple, and make a difference for Him. And He has indeed done that!
But at an overnight retreat, I realized something for the first time.
Even when God used me in ways far beyond anything I ever imagined – even transforming many people’s lives during my leadership of more than 35 Encounter Retreats at our church – I always felt like something was missing and that I was falling short. I was never satisfied. I ALWAYS CRAVED MORE.
I thought I just needed to grow more, do more, be more right with God, and keep getting better at what I did. If I did all of those things, then my ministry would really take off, and I would feel really fulfilled in my calling.
But at my retreat, I received these four transformational truths from God:
1. Ministry will never give fulfillment.
Each time I began a new ministry/career, I thought, “This is it!” What I really meant was, “THIS will finally fulfill me!” But it never did. It was never meant to!!
Here’s why … If God gave me a sense of complete fulfillment in anything other than Him, that thing or person would take first place in my heart, above Him. And since nothing but God can truly fulfill me, I would NEVER be truly fulfilled!
2. No person or thing can give fulfillment.
When I was young, my mom was my anchor. But my parents passed away.
Then I had other heroes: teachers, pastors, and other leaders whom I admired. But they are mortals too.
Even now, my husband is 14 years older than me, so I might eventually be without him.
I have a small family. So I’ve sometimes wondered who might be there to care for me if I need help in old age.
But ultimately, no one can fulfill me or give me ultimate security. No one but Jesus. Everything else is incomplete and will pass away.
3. Only Jesus can give fulfillment.
Only Jesus fulfills me. He secures me. He protects me. He fully understands me. He created me. He will always be with me.
It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. Ephesians 1:11-12
4. Free, joyful, and effective ministry, relationships, and purpose are the FRUIT of fulfillment, NOT the SOURCE.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Looking to ministry – or any other thing or person – for fulfillment leads to frustration, self-doubt, and even disillusionment with God.
But when we depend on Jesus for fulfillment, there’s no more pressure to try and be fulfilled by ministry, people, or things. Then Jesus frees us for ultimate joy in ministry, people, and all of God’s blessings, which are no longer our SOURCE of fulfillment, but the FRUIT of our fulfillment in Christ.
These realizations came to me after reading Tony Stoltzfus’ book, The Invitation.
Reading Tony Stoltzfus’ book, The Invitation, was God’s strong prompting to schedule my Overnight Personal Spiritual Retreat, so that I would have the time and focus to process all I was learning and to experience what God wanted for me.
Stoltzfus’ book can show you how to depend on Jesus for fulfillment, instead of on ministry, people, or things.
How to apply these truths to your life:
- Ask Jesus: Upon what or whom do I sometimes depend for fulfillment, instead of you?
- Pray this dangerous prayer: Jesus, give me experiences to confirm that my fulfillment is in you, not in any other person or thing.
- Consider reading Tony Stoltzfus’ book, The Invitation. Click here to get the book at Amazon.
Feel free to comment or ask questions below.
Great article. Really appreciate your honesty.
My favourite line is, “Free, joyful, and effective ministry, relationships, and purpose are the FRUIT of fulfillment, NOT the SOURCE.”
As a pastor I need to be reminded of this daily.
So I am thankful your artcile has done this for me today.
Thank you so much for your encouragement! I’m delighted God spoke to you through the blog. God bless!
Thanks so much for the post. My wife and I were really blessed by that. More grace ma’am.
I’m thankful that God blessed you through the post. Thank you for letting me know! More grace to you and your wife as well.
Hi RJ, Our paths first crossed at one of those Encounters while you were discipleship/leadership pastor. We quickly became friends and you and Pastor Jonathan as mentors. I was ask to become a part of the Encounter team and humbly accepted. After serving or Lord Jesus in several Encounters I had some heart issues and just having undergone several heart procedures I had to decline the last time you ask me to be a part of the Encounter group. I broke my heart to have to decline but my health at that time didn’t allow it. I want to thank you for having me take part in Encounter. God has taken me on another path following that, I am in the process of writing a book to help new followers of Christianity to better understand the Bible and what each book of the Bible is about in brief, easy to understand context. God’s Blessings RJ.
Hello, Terry! It’s always good to hear from you and Anna, and I enjoy following you on Facebook. It was indeed a pleasure to serve with you at Encounter. I still think about both of you and pray for you when God brings you to mind. And now I will pray for your writing! That’s exciting! God bless!
Hi RJ, Our paths first crossed at one of those Encounters while you were discipleship/leadership pastor. We quickly became friends and you and Pastor Jonathan as mentors. I was ask to become a part of the Encounter team and humbly accepted. After serving or Lord Jesus in several Encounters I had some heart issues and just having undergone several heart procedures I had to decline the last time you ask me to be a part of the Encounter group. I broke my heart to have to decline but my health at that time didn’t allow it. I want to thank you for having me take part in Encounter. God has taken me on another path following that, I am in the process of writing a book to help new followers of Christianity to better understand the Bible and what each book of the Bible is about in brief, easy to understand context. God’s Blessings RJ.
Hello, Terry! It’s always good to hear from you and Anna, and I enjoy following you on Facebook. It was indeed a pleasure to serve with you at Encounter. I still think about both of you and pray for you when God brings you to mind. And now I will pray for your writing! That’s exciting! God bless!
Thank you Rj. I am going to look into that book. I’ve been struggling with a few things that are taking me off my path. And I truly enjoy your blog. God bless.
Thank you for the encouragement, Dana! Tony Stoltzfus’ writings are some of my favorites. Very inspiring, in-depth, and practical. Let me know how it goes! God bless!
Thank you Rj. I am going to look into that book. I’ve been struggling with a few things that are taking me off my path. And I truly enjoy your blog. God bless.
Thank you for the encouragement, Dana! Tony Stoltzfus’ writings are some of my favorites. Very inspiring, in-depth, and practical. Let me know how it goes! God bless!
Hi sister R.J.
This is Bro. Phil Salaah, we’ve connected a few times this is my second time responding to one of your blogs.
Wow! thank you for your transparency. It helped crystallize what God has been trying to show me for a while now & that is that though it’s important pursuing your assignment, purpose & destiny & being the proper body weight & being able to fit comfotably in clothing & having a nice car (finally) & teaching & speaking in church & being on the church board as well as recently becoming a chaplin, etc… it’s not & can not, bring the fullfillment I so desperately seek & that God promises. It’s only found in one place, in an intimate relationship with Jesus! Like you said otherwise I will be worshipping material things & ministry activities & thus making them my source & God. This is such a POWERFUL revelation you shared.
Also thanks for the nod to Tony, S. for his book & not trying to take the glory for yourself. This shows me a lot about your character! I will be contacting you to discuss becoming a client. I’ve been looking for a particular kind of mentor who would be a good fit for me & the vision God has given me, someone who is walking a similar path.
May God bless you with long life, so that you can bring Him glory in the earth…
P.S. I took a look at your recommended reading list & I’m glad to say I have a few of these books & am encouraged to read some of the other books you have listed.
Great to hear from you again, Brother Phil. Thanks so much for the feedback. It’s always great to know when someone benefits from my blogs. I’ll be in touch!
Hi sister R.J.
This is Bro. Phil Salaah, we’ve connected a few times this is my second time responding to one of your blogs.
Wow! thank you for your transparency. It helped crystallize what God has been trying to show me for a while now & that is that though it’s important pursuing your assignment, purpose & destiny & being the proper body weight & being able to fit comfotably in clothing & having a nice car (finally) & teaching & speaking in church & being on the church board as well as recently becoming a chaplin, etc… it’s not & can not, bring the fullfillment I so desperately seek & that God promises. It’s only found in one place, in an intimate relationship with Jesus! Like you said otherwise I will be worshipping material things & ministry activities & thus making them my source & God. This is such a POWERFUL revelation you shared.
Also thanks for the nod to Tony, S. for his book & not trying to take the glory for yourself. This shows me a lot about your character! I will be contacting you to discuss becoming a client. I’ve been looking for a particular kind of mentor who would be a good fit for me & the vision God has given me, someone who is walking a similar path.
May God bless you with long life, so that you can bring Him glory in the earth…
P.S. I took a look at your recommended reading list & I’m glad to say I have a few of these books & am encouraged to read some of the other books you have listed.
Great to hear from you again, Brother Phil. Thanks so much for the feedback. It’s always great to know when someone benefits from my blogs. I’ll be in touch!