Again, with respect to being God's child or God's servant, it’s not a matter of either/or. It's a matter of priority. It’s important that being God’s child comes before being His servant.

The focus of a servant is doing. The focus of a child is being in a uniquely personal relationship.

What Difference Does It Make?

What difference does it make if I’m praying and living mainly as God’s child instead of mainly as His servant?

When I know I am totally loved, approved, and understood as God’s child:

• I hear Him talk to me, affirm me, and guide me in transformationally unique ways.
• I notice Him doing things for me and through me because of who I uniquely am.
• What I do in my Christian calling comes confidently and bravely through who He tells me I am.
• When my world is shaken, I trust Him, because I know—I know, I know—deep inside that He is for me and with me.
  
  

How to Pray and Live as God’s Child

When you truly get it—that you are indeed God’s totally beloved and approved child, and not just His servant—it transforms your life.

For example, the underlying anxiety you’ve always had about missing your calling or never totally measuring up slowly evaporates. It’s replaced with peace, wonder, and freedom that makes you shine.

Below are 4 practical ways to learn to pray and live as God's child.

1. Talk with God about who you ARE, not just about what to DO.

As a Christian life coach helping people grow in their relationship with God, I formerly believed that conversation with God doesn’t fit everyone's personality. I've changed my mind about that. I don't think it's possible to have a close relationship with anyone, including God, without two-way conversation about what’s important.

I’ve discovered that the main reason people don’t try to have conversations with God is because they’re afraid of what they’ll hear, or perhaps even worse, they’re afraid God won’t say anything.

Also, past hurts in our lives—especially if our parents didn't tell us they love us or never fully approved of us—makes it harder to hear God’s declarations of love and approval. But God is God. He’ll get through to you!

Hearing God tell you who you are and how much He loves and values you is transformational, even more so than when it comes from our earthly parents.

To start talking with God about who you ARE, ask Him the questions below. At first, you might be able to hear just a word or a few words. You might doubt whether it’s Him or your own thoughts. But if it sounds like the loving and gracious Jesus of the Bible, it probably is!

• Ask God what He loves about your unique personality.
  Example: God told me that He loves my silliness. I was really silly, in an endearing way, when I was in college. But life's hurts had temporarily squashed that. God revived it and enhanced it through His love by giving me a mental picture of Him laughing and celebrating my joyful silliness.
• Ask God what He thinks and feels when He watches you do what you do well.
  Example: One time when I was coaching a client over the phone, I knew I was really helping the person, and I was in “flow”—doing well and greatly enjoying it. I sensed Jesus smiling at me, giving me a thumbs up, and doing a little dance!
• Ask God when He immediately forgave you while you still wallowed in guilt.
  Example: I struggled with habitual lying for decades. Now, my lying is very infrequent. Recently, though, I did lie. My immediate reaction was despair and a desire to do penance by praying extra hard and confessing to the person I lied to. But I clearly heard God say, “You’re forgiven. Move on.”
• Talk with God about important stuff, even stuff that’s scary.
  Example: My husband recently had heart surgery. Before, I would have been too scared to say much to God about it, beyond praying that he’d get well. But this time, I talked back and forth with God about how I felt, because I’ve had enough experience doing that to know that God would encourage and strengthen me. I emerged from that time smiling and feeling the warmth of the Holy Spirit.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Rest. God Does!

When you don’t feel like praying, sometimes you shouldn’t pray! Give yourself a rest!

I’ll sometimes say, “God, I’m really tired. Is it okay to just chill?” Most of the time, I feel His peace, freedom, and joy, and I return later renewed and happy. Sometimes, He’ll remind me of something that I need to do first, but then His peace comes.

I’m convinced we’re sometimes too legalistic about prayer. We have a list of goals and people to pray for. We have a framework for prayer such as ACTS (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication). Those resources are essential for Kingdom work and personal growth.

But these resources are tools. God, not our model, is the focus of our prayers. His faithfulness, not ours, releases His power.

If it makes you feel better, remember that God even commands that we rest! Click here for a blog about modern Christian observance of the Sabbath.

3. Have Fun with God!

What does it even look like to have FUN with God?!

Many Christian leaders even think having fun is a waste of time. I used to be one of them! I’d much rather be productive!

But fun even helps us be productive! 🙂

Even better, fun cements relationships. Having fun with God will convince you that He loves and approves of you.

When kids have fun with their parents in a healthy family dynamic, everyone is built up, encouraged, and strengthened. God loves it when you’re FULLY YOU with Him! 

Prayerfully take these steps with God: 

• Are you living and praying mainly from your role as a servant of God or a child of God?
• Talk with God about who you are. How did that go? (Use the prompts in the section above, entitled “Talk with God about Who You ARE, Not Just What You Do.”)
• To what extent do you hear God giving you permission to rest?
• How could you have fun with God?
• How do you sense God giving you freedom to make some important decisions, instead of Him telling you what to do? What are His purposes in allowing you to do that?
• How do you want to live more fully as God’s child? Ask Him to help you do that!
• For lots of tips and examples for talking conversationally with God, check out this book at Amazon: Questions for Jesus by Tony Stoltzfus.