Are the Best and Most Impactful Years of My Life Behind Me?

Eight years ago, in 2009, I was on top of the world! I got married at age 48, after a life of happy single adulthood. I loved my career as one of the pastors at a large church near Pittsburgh. And I even graduated from seminary that same year. I was on a personal and professional mountaintop.

Then two years later in 2011, I plummeted into what would become a 7-year-long valley.

It began with classic symptoms of heart attack and stroke, including a multi-day hospital stay, although diagnostic medical tests showed nothing abnormal. (For how God turned this trial into triumph, click here.)

At the same time, I started doubting myself professionally, physically, relationally, emotionally, and just about every other way imaginable. Life became confusing, difficult, and even scary. My body, mind, and soul seemed to rebel against the person I thought I was.

I actually wondered sometimes if I was going crazy.

And even worse, at age 50, I seriously wondered if the best years of my life were behind me.

In 2013, I sensed God changing the direction of my divine calling. So I resigned my position as a pastor and began a new career as a Christian life coach. I had been coaching all my life anyway, and more and more people sought me out for that. So I earned the official certification and started a Christian coaching business/ministry, with a specialty of helping people find and fulfill their divine calling.

Now, four years later, that is still a wonderful ride!

But honestly, it has not been easy. Some doors did open. Many clients, workshop attendees, and blog recipients told me how God has worked through my coaching to change their lives. But the growth has been slow and difficult, not explosive like when I was a pastor.

And frankly, going from leading and influencing hundreds of people in a local church to coaching and leading small groups and individuals from home and small classrooms hit my ego big-time.

I really wondered if my best years of ministry, not to mention my physical strength after the health crisis, were behind me.

Was it just going to be downhill from now until I went home to be with God?

Life Calling Valleys

In 2015, four years into my long struggle, I read Tony Stoltzfus’ book, The Calling Journey.

And I discovered that not only are Life Calling Valleys NORMAL, they’re ESSENTIAL PREPARATION for the best years yet to come!

In fact, God uses THREE multi-year Life Calling Valleys to sharpen and develop the “sweet spot” of life calling and personal identity.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

The Difference Between a Normal Valley and a Life Calling Valley

Everyone has ups and downs in life, right? Some of them last a day or even less. Some can stretch to a week, a month or even a year. Those are the normal valleys of life.

But a Life Calling Valley goes on for YEARS!

What a relief for me to discover this powerful truth, which is based on 35+ years of research by internationally known Christian life coach, Tony Stoltzfus!

Finally, I realized I was NORMAL! I wasn’t crazy! And even better, the best was yet to come!

What a Life Calling Valley Is Like

A Life Calling Valley often starts with a stressful life event, such as a loved one’s death, a health crisis, a career change, a divorce, a hurtful relationship, a heavy caregiving responsibility, a geographical move, a financial crisis, an empty nest, retirement, etc. And sometimes several of these events happen closely together.

A Life Calling Valley makes us feel like we are moving farther and farther away from God’s purposes for our lives. We long for days in the past when things were going so well, doors opened easily, life moved forward painlessly, and no major struggles or doubts dragged us down every single day of our existence.

God’s Purposes for a Life Calling Valley

Tony Stoltzfus discovered that Christians go through three identifiable Life Calling Valleys, each of which lasts multiple years.

God’s purpose during the Life Calling Valleys is to develop and strengthen our character and identity, and to deepen our relationship with Him.

On the other hand, God’s purposes in the Life Calling mountaintops, when life and work are going well, are to develop our skills, passions, and experiences.

The problem comes when we try to force the mountaintop agendas into the valleys. When we keep trying to ACCOMPLISH AND GET THINGS DONE instead of to BECOME AND GROW. This is especially hard for leaders and goal-oriented personality types!

What to Do in a Life Calling Valley

So if you are in a Life Calling Valley, here are some practical steps for you.

1. Be encouraged! The frustration, confusion, and fear are normal! You’re where God wants you to be. He has wonderful purposes for at this time of your life. And the best is yet to come!
2. Don’t let a loss of productivity or impact discourage you. Those are not God’s main purposes in a Life Calling Valley. They will return later!
3. Lean into God, and get to know Him better. That’s a HUGE part of God’s purpose in a Life Calling Valley. The books Questions for Jesus and The Invitation are great for that.
4. Address issues in your life that might be unrelated to calling, but might derail it later. Examples are habitual sins, addictions, weight problems, financial problems, anger issues, marital problems, past hurts that are holding you back, depression, or other relational or emotional issues. God loves YOU just as much as He loves the people he wants you to serve in your calling!
5. If you can, especially if you are in middle or senior adulthood, and especially if you are recently retired or between jobs, take a 3-6-month sabbatical, to give yourself time and space to heal, grow, or explore.
6. Especially if you are a middle or senior adult, and especially if you are retired, get clear about who God says you are, and work on boldly presenting yourself that way!
7. I strongly suggest going through the book The Calling Journey. Read Chapters 1, 2, and 4, to find out where you are in the Journey. Then skip to that chapter in the book for guidance.
8. Consider scheduling a free 30-minute phone call with me to explore affordable coaching that will help you gain traction more rapidly and confidently in your Life Calling Valley. More and more, God is sending me clients age 50+, and especially those who are retired or who soon will retire. Click here to schedule.

The Best Is Yet to Come! (And How to Know When You’re Coming Out of a Life Calling Valley)

I have been in my current Life Calling Valley for about seven years. According to Tony Stoltzus’ research, this is my last Life Calling Valley before the final Fulfillment Stage of my calling!

A couple of months ago, my husband and I strongly heard God’s call to life and ministry in Florida, so I believe my Fulfillment stage could be on the horizon! You can read that story by clicking here.

A sign that you might be coming out of a long Life Calling Valley is that you have the choice of taking a big risk for the sake of your life calling. It could be a financial risk, a relational risk, the risk of a big geographical move, the risk of switching careers, etc.

Another sign that you might be coming our of a long Life Calling Valley is that doors of opportunity start opening again, and productivity and impact increase.

A third sign is that, after a Life Calling Valley, your life calling sharpens. And perhaps even more important, you heal from past hurts and find new joy in who God has created you to be.

No matter how many years you have struggled in your own Life Calling Valley, God has not forgotten you, and He is not done with you! He is accomplishing His purposes for you and through you during this difficult time. And He has awesome blessings and purposes for your future!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I would love to pray for you in your Life Calling Valley, hear your story, or encourage you! Feel free to comment below!

R.J. Scherba Christian Coaching is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. R.J. only lists resources that she highly values and uses herself.