Are the Best and Most Impactful Years of My Life Behind Me?

In 2009, I was on top of the world! I got married at 48 after a happy life as a single adult. I loved my career as one of the pastors at a large church near Pittsburgh, and I even graduated from seminary that same year. I was on a personal and professional mountaintop.

Then, two years later, in 2011, I plummeted into what would become a 7-year-long valley.

It began with the classic symptoms of a heart attack and stroke, including a multi-day hospital stay, even though diagnostic tests showed nothing abnormal. (Read how God turned this trial into triumph.)

At the same time, I started doubting myself professionally, physically, relationally, emotionally, and in just about every other way imaginable. Life became confusing, difficult, and even scary. My body, mind, and soul seemed to rebel against the person I thought I was.

I sometimes wondered if I was going crazy.

And even worse, at age 50, I wondered if the best years of my life were behind me.

In 2013, I sensed God changing the direction of my Christian calling. So I resigned my position as a pastor and began a new career as a Christian life coach. I had been coaching all my life anyway, and more and more people sought me out for that. So I earned the certification and started a Christian coaching ministry, specializing in helping people find and fulfill their Christian calling.

Now, many years later, that is still a wonderful ride!

But honestly, it has not been easy. Some doors did open. Many clients, workshop attendees, and blog recipients told me how God worked through my coaching to change their lives. But the growth was slow and difficult, not explosive like when I was a pastor.

And frankly, going from leading and influencing hundreds of people in a local church to coaching and leading small groups and individuals from home and in small classrooms hurt my ego.

I often wondered if the best years of my ministry, and of my physical strength after the health crisis, were behind me.

Was my life and calling on a downhill plunge until I went home to be with God?

Christian Calling Valleys

In 2015, four years into my long struggle, I read Tony Stoltzfus’ book, The Calling Journey.

I discovered that not only are Christian Calling Valleys normal—they’re essential preparation for the best years to come!

In fact, God uses three multi-year Christian Calling Valleys to sharpen and develop the “sweet spot” of Christian calling and personal identity.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

The Difference Between a Normal Valley and a Christian Calling Valley

Everyone has ups and downs in life, right? Some last a day or even less. Some can stretch to a week, a month, or even a year. Those are the normal valleys of life.

But a Christian Calling Valley goes on for YEARS!

What a relief to discover the powerful truth—based on 35+ years of research by internationally known Christian life coach, Tony Stoltzfus—that these years-long Calling Valleys are normal and essential for future fruitfulness!

I was NORMAL! I wasn’t crazy! And even better, the best was yet to come!

What a Christian Calling Valley Is Like

A years-long Christian Calling Valley often starts with a stressful life event, such as a loved one’s death, a health crisis, a career change, a divorce, a hurtful relationship, a heavy caregiving responsibility, a geographical move, a financial crisis, an empty nest, retirement, etc. And sometimes several of these events happen closely together.

A Calling Valley makes us feel like we’re moving farther and farther away from God’s purposes for our lives. We long for days in the past when things were going so well, doors opened easily, life moved forward painlessly, and no major struggles or doubts dragged us down every single day of our existence.

God’s Purposes for a Christian Calling Valley

Tony Stoltzfus discovered that Christians go through three identifiable Calling Valleys, each lasting multiple years.

God’s purpose during the Calling Valleys is to develop and strengthen our character and identity, and to deepen our relationship with Him.

On the other hand, God’s purposes in the Christian Calling mountaintops, when life and work are going well, are to develop our skills, passions, and experiences.

The problem comes when we try to force the mountaintop agendas into the valleys: when we keep trying to ACCOMPLISH AND GET THINGS DONE instead of to BECOME AND GROW. This is especially hard for leaders and goal-oriented personality types!

What to Do in a Christian Calling Valley

If you’re in a Christian Calling Valley, here are some practical steps for you.

1. Be encouraged! The frustration, confusion, and fear are normal! You’re where God wants you to be. He has wonderful purposes for this time of your life. And the best is yet to come!
2. Don’t let a loss of productivity or impact discourage you. Producing and impacting are not God’s main purposes in a Calling Valley. They will return later!
3. Lean into God, and get to know Him better. That’s a huge part of God’s purpose in a Christian Calling Valley. The books Questions for Jesus and The Invitation are great for that.
4. Address issues in your life that might seem unrelated to your calling, but might derail it later. Examples are habitual sins, addictions, weight problems, financial problems, anger issues, marital problems, past hurts that are holding you back, depression, or other relational or emotional issues. God loves YOU more than He loves your CALLING!
5. If you can, especially if you’re in middle or senior adulthood, and especially if you’re recently retired or between jobs, take a 3-6-month sabbatical leave, to give yourself time and space to heal, grow, or explore.
6. Especially if you are a middle or senior adult, and especially if you’re retired, get clear about who God says you are, and work on boldly presenting yourself that way.
7. I strongly suggest going through Tony Stoltzfus’ book The Calling Journey. Read Chapters 1, 2, and 4, to find out where you are in the Journey. Then skip to that chapter in the book for guidance.
8. Consider scheduling a free 30-minute phone call with me to explore affordable coaching that will help you gain traction more rapidly and confidently in your Christian Calling Valley. More and more, God is sending me clients age 50+, especially those who are retired or will soon retire.
9. If you are age 50+, consider this online course to help you fulfill the best Christian calling of your life. The best is yet to come!

The Best Is Yet to Come!

I stayed in my Calling Valley for 11 years. (Don’t worry, that far longer than average, because God was preparing me to coach people through that very same Calling Valley.) According to Tony Stoltzus’ research, this was my last Christian Calling Valley before the final Fulfillment Stage of my calling!

During this valley, my husband and I strongly heard God’s call to life and ministry in Florida, where I would live out my Fulfillment Stage. Read the story of my transition to Florida.

No matter how many years you’ve struggled in your own Christian Calling Valley, God has not forgotten you, and He is not done with you! He is accomplishing His purposes for you and through you during this difficult time. And He has awesome blessings and purposes for your future!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I would love to pray for you in your Christian Calling Valley, hear your story, or encourage you! Feel free to comment below!

R.J. Scherba Christian Coaching is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. R.J. only lists resources that she highly values and uses herself.